Student Co
by Sunachii
Summary: Featuring Natsu Dragoneel as the (unwilling) student president, Lucy Heartfilia as the (struggling) student vice-president, Gray Fullbuster as the treasurer (he spends half the budget on snow cone machines with no shame), Erza Scarlet as the secretary (the head disciplinarian), and Happy, the student president's blue cat- ahem the student council mascot (Plue would disagree).
1. File 1: Life of Student Council

_There is a place. Like no other place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, & danger! Some say to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily I am._

 _-Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

 **Fairy Tail Academy Student Council Members**

Natsu Dragoneel

 _Description: Male with pink hair (it's salmon dammit!) and muscular body. Questionably a secret pyromaniac. Attached to a scarf given by his adopted father._

 _Position: President_

 _Previous Affiliations: Basketball Club, Soccer Club, Football Team_

Lucy Heartfilia

 _Description: Female with blonde hair and a rather curvaceous body. The seemingly normal one of the council members. Attached to a ring of gold and silver keys._

 _Position: Vice- President_

 _Previous Affiliations: Volleyball Club, Astronomy Club, Track and Field Team, Ikebana Club (forced to join due to familial relations), and Book Club (how does she manage her schedule remains one of Fairy Tail Academy's mysteries)_

Gray Fullbuster

 _Description: Male with spiky dark hair and a muscular body. Caught many times stripping on campus (he claims it is a habit). Attached to sword pendant necklace._

 _Position: Treasurer_

 _Previous Affiliations: Basketball Club, Hockey Team, Ski/ Snowboard Club (seems to have an interest in winter sports), and Track and Field Team_

Erza Scarlet

 _Description: Terrifying female with red hair and a curvaceous body. Known as the demon incarnate on campus. Likes to carry around a katana._

 _Position: Secretary_

 _Previous Affiliations: Kendo Club, Disciplinary Committee (unofficial club), Cooking Club (despite her reputation, she loves to eat strawberry cake)_

Happy

 _Description: Natsu Dragoneel's blue cat. Is a cat food connoisseur (would not expect less than fish bought from the supermarket)._

 _Position: (unofficial) Mascot_

Plue

 _Description: Lucy Heartfilia's German shepherd. Barks rather strange (Plue is perfect just the way he is!) "Punpun!"_

 _Position: (unofficial) Mascot-in-waiting_

* * *

 **This PC** » **Documents** » **Student Council** » **A Peek into the life of Student Council**

"Lu-chan! Are you going to book club after school today?" Levy McGarden asked her blonde best friend in front of her. They were sitting in their last period class that they happened to share together. This time, Levy could see her blonde best friend furiously typing on her laptop which looked to be about the latest event their dearest principal made up. Worryingly enough, her usually cheery best friend was hammering her poor laptop quite loudly while muttering about an idiotic pyromaniac president and an equally idiotic ice-loving stripper.

"Lu-chan!" Levy called about again seeing that her best friend didn't seem to hear her. This time, the blonde looked up and then flinched. What was with her late reaction? The blonde rubbed her forehead tiredly before turning around to face the bluenette.

Taking a good proper look at her blonde best friend since the morning, Levy noticed the slight slouch in the blonde's posture and minor mistakes in her usually impeccable make-up.

"Ah sorry Levy, I didn't hear you. What were you talking about again?" Lucy Heartfilia turned to face her blue-haired best friend from her laptop screen.

"I was asking you whether or not you are attending today's book club meeting after school. Are you feeling alright Lu-chan?" the bluenette asked, concerned about her friend's wellbeing.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry Levy, I completely forgot about today's meeting. I'm completely swamped with work for student council. Plus, we have another meeting after school. You know the usual, Natsu the idiotic pyromaniac running from his paperwork again for the nth time and Gray the idiotic stripper confusing his personal money with the school's, thus spending most of the budget on ice cream," Lucy sighed, rubbing her forehead again.

"That sucks," Levy pulled her best friend into a hug, nodding sympathetically. "One of these days, I'm going track down these idiots and make them do their work instead of dumping it all on you. Then we are going to head to the library classroom, talk about books and have some drinks"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Levy but I'm going to need some really strong coffee," Lucy replied moaning into her hands. "And about the boys, Erza is doing a great job keeping them in line but sometimes I feel we need to recruit more people to do their work". Levy sweat-dropped slightly, _Lucy, it's not just Erza who's keeping them in line… Demon Lucy is the nightmares of the freshmen…_

Lucy smiled a bit mischievously at her best friend with an odd twinkle in her eye. "Also, I think Gajeel would be a bit jealous of Gray and Natsu,"

Levy reddened immediately like a cherry tomato understanding the innuendo her best friend was trying to make. "LU-CHAN! Why would you say that?!"

"Ahem. Miss McGarden and Miss Heartfilia. Please remember you are still in class despite having two minutes left," their teacher suddenly spoke up looking at them. Both girls reddened immediately before standing up, bowing, and apologizing for their behavior being the good students they are, both being studious top students and student leaders; Levy being the president of the Book Club and Lucy being the student vice-president.

As they sat down, Lucy kicked Levy's desk lightly. "Levy! Look at what you did!" Lucy hissed.

"It's your fault bringing up Gajeel!" Levy hissed back.

"What about Gajeel?" Lucy smiled innocently. Suddenly the school bell rang signaling the end of the school day and for Lucy, the beginning of her stressful afterschool shenanigans. Levy sighed in relief. _Saved by the bell…_

"Uhhh Lu-chan I gotta go! Jet and Droy are probably wondering where I am right now. I'll talk to you later!" Levy hugged her blonde best friend again before dashing out of the classroom, most likely heading to the library classroom where the book club meetings are held.

Lucy groaned a tiny bit (only a tiny bit because she has a reputation to uphold) before whipping out and turning on her phone to see what her band of idiots been up to the past hour. Ignoring the slight buzzing of her iLacrima (she long learned to turn off the sound notifications with her team and their spamming), Lucy stared at the absurd number of notifications on her messaging app. Knowing them and their antics, it was most likely Gray and Natsu arguing again on the student council chat.

Despite all of this, the stress, the work, the paperwork, she wouldn't give it up for the world. Because it's her band of destructive idiots, _the student council of Fairy Tail Academy_. Lucy'siLacrima buzzed again with another notification from her friends. Lucy's eye twitched looking at the battery life of her phone (the cause most likely being the chat), promising herself that she would deal with those two idiots at the meeting.

* * *

 **Lucy Heartfilia's** **iLacrima** \- i **Message**

* * *

 **Student Co.**

 **Fire-Breathing Idiot:** Stripper! If you aren't such a wussy come and fight me!

 **Strawberry Shortcake:** Natsu… Gray… Good friends don't fight each other. Or do I have to shove that lesson back into your thick skulls?

 **Fire-Breathing Idiot:** Yes Ma'am!

 **Ice Ice Baby:** Yes Ma'am!

 **Happy:** Aye!

 **Ice Ice Baby:** wtf

* * *

Ignoring another notification from the chat, she opened the conversation between Levy and her. Lucy quickly sent Levy a text, shoved her laptop in her school bag, grabbed the bag and headed to the student council room before something blew up.

* * *

 **Levy McSlayMyLife**

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** ;) Your secret is safe with me. Tell me what happens at book club!

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** Also, we need to plan an outing together. This student council stuff is driving me crazy and we both need a break! :P

* * *

Lucy walked down the hall, trying to keep a slight smile on her face as she waved to acquaintances and close teachers, before entering the stairwell to get to the third floor where the student council classroom was located. Because it is located on the third floor, the student council room could see almost the entire school which was both good and bad. The good being seeing the students get excited about the events they were planning and getting the motivation and the bad being that the school could see them being the human messes they actually are.

The four of them since freshmen year were especially close despite the differences in interests and personality. They had _that_ amazing chemistry between them that allowed them to rise up against all odds and make their name in Fiore. Minus the whole destructive tendencies.

Opening the door carefully to see if there was a bucket of water on the door, Lucy entered the student council room to see her fellow councilmates, Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragoneel, and Gray Fullbuster.

Trying to forget about the work the two aforementioned idiots pushed upon her, she tried to smile "Hey guys! Please tell me the coffee is spiked because I'm dead,"

"Hey, Luce!" Natsu Dragoneel, her best friend and the idiotic pyromaniac student president of the school grinned back at her before squinting down at his laptop. Huh, the infamous Salamander is actually doing work.

"Hi, Lucy. I'm glad to see that you are doing well today" Erza Scarlet, another one of her best friends, the secretary of the council and the demon incarnate when angered, greeted Lucy with a slight smile before slamming Lucy into her chest for a hug.

"How ya doing Luce?" Gray Fullbuster, her final best friend, the treasurer of the council as well as resident stripper smirked at her before ruffling her hair.

"Gray! Start messing up my hair!" Lucy whined, despite being at this point, she didn't really mind it at all. Then she noticed something was missing. "Your clothes!"

"AH!" the so-called 'cool Gray Fullbuster' yelped before walking off to find his missing shirt.

Natsu snickered "Once a stripper, always a stripper, droopy eyes".

"Aye!" Happy, Natsu's strangely blue cat and the unofficial mascot of the student council meowed.

"Shut it flame brain! What is your cat here doing here?!" Lucy smiled at the two bickering before sitting down at her desk and pulling out her laptop to complete the paperwork needed for the upcoming event.

"Why don't you shut up and learn how to keep your clothes on ice stripper! It's not my fault Happy decided to follow me to school today!"

Lucy remembered something. She suddenly stood up and screeched at the boys "That reminds me. You idiots! Keep your arguments in your own personal chat and stop spamming our group chat! Instead of arguing all the time, why don't you actually get your work done instead of shoving it all on me!" The two boys flinched both at the sight of Demon Lucy and her sudden outburst. Comically enough, Lucy had a fiery angry aura around her. Natsu and Gray both cowered glancing down and saw the mini heels. Mini as those heels are, they hurt like hell when somebody is trying to stab you- ahem Lucy.

"Lucy Kick!" Both boys were sent to the wall.

Erza hummed in agreement while eating a piece of strawberry cake before joining Lucy. "As well, I just checked your reports from Principal Makarov and I am extremely disappointed in you both tarnishing Fairy Tail Academy's name and the name of the student council." Erza pierced their protests with a fearsome glare and pointed her beloved katana at them for a good measure (although she would never harm them without a good reason).

"Natsu- who left you in charge of calling potential sponsors? Next time you call for sponsorships, talk with eloquence and remember you are upholding Fairy Tail's name,"

"Yes ma'am"

"Gray- why did you spend half our budget for this event on a snow machine? This is a spring event, therefore there is no reason why there should be snow at this event."

"Yes ma'am"

"Lucy- good work and can you please do damage control with the companies while I sort out this budget mess."

"Yeah sure," Lucy sighed in relief and picked up the phone and the list of company contact information.

"Crazy demon ladies," Natsu and Gray muttered before the sound of keyboard clattering began. "I swear I did not sign up for this abuse,"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"Nothing,"

Finally, the student council room was peaceful for once with the sounds of the keyboard and Lucy speaking calmly on the phone, presumably doing damage control. Alas, peace is never constant in such a place like Fairy Tail Academy, and especially not in the infamous student council room.

Suddenly, their beloved idiotic president looked up and frantically scanned the room. "Hey, where's Happy?"

"Look down at your feet assflame"

"OH SHIT HE'S NOT HERE FUCK. WENDY WILL CASTRATE ME!"

"Such language is not becoming of our president"

"Tsk tsk Natsu." Lucy teased, holding up the student council swear jar.

"How can you lose a blue cat squinty eyes?"

The pinkhead grumbled, digging into his pockets for change before dropping it in the jar. "Shut up guys and help your oh so beloved president find his damned blue cat"

"Natsu knows sarcasm and words consisting of more than five letters? That's an improvement" Lucy whispered loudly to Gray beside her. Gray gave out a few chuckles.

"You know I can hear you guys! And help me find Happy!" Natsu finally growled spitting out imaginary flames before storming out the door, to find his lost blue cat.

"We should help him, shouldn't we?" Poor Erza looked torn between ditching her work for the school and helping a friend.

Lucy and Gray nodded. "Let's find Happy" Lucy cheered with a fist pump.

"AYE!" the presumably lost blue cat meowed. All three of them blinked. At that moment, Gray and Erza secretly swore that the blue cat was a ninja, with its blue fur camouflaging with the blue coffee dispenser.

Gray was the first to react. "Ah, flame brain's squinty eyes actually failed him," he laughed. "Somebody go out and get back the idiot before he sets off the fire alarm,"

The blue cat was licking the coffee dripping from the dispenser with a torn open bag of dried sardines around him. Looks like the president's cat is going to undergo go some dietary regiment soon.

"Somebody stop the damned cat! He's going to finish the coffee!" Lucy suddenly screeched diving toward the coffee table where coffee dispenser in hopes of saving her salvation. Huh, the irony.

"Is it even okay for cats to have coffee?" Erza wondered out loud, before idly typing the question in the search bar.

It remains Fairy Tail Academy mystery to the younger students how this group of four idiots got elected and somehow managed to blow everyone away with their performance. "How in Mavis' name were we even elected?!" This question also remains a mystery to the members of the said council.

* * *

 **That's a wrap. I posted this last night but I noticed I posted the source code instead- whoops. Expect OOCness and erratic updates. Forgive my cringe writing. I got some inspirations from some fics I was reading (I could only find one of them- I guess the author deleted the other fic)**

 **study hard kids by moon strut**

 **Feel free to leave a review- flames would not be appreciated, however, constructive criticism would be nice.**

 **Ja-ne!**

 **-Sunachii**


	2. File 2: Blame Cana

_"Have I gone mad?"_

 _"You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are,"_

 _-Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

 **Natsu Dragoneel's iLacrima- iMessage**

 **Student Co.**

 **6:15 am**

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** I don't feel so good...

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Happy won't stop meowing and my ears are ringing.

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** It feels like I'm on a train.

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Blurgh. Trains.

 **Ice Freak:** Ha trains.

 **Lucifer:** Never again. Never fucking again.

 **Ice Freak:** Who the fuck fed me hot sauce yesterday? Coz it bloody feels like it.

 **Scary Sword Lady:** I have the strange urge to kill somebody.

 **Scary Sword Lady:** I know we are all hungover…

 **Scary Sword Lady:** but we need to get our asses to school and present our proposal to get approval from the parent council.

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** THE PAPERWORK AHHHHH

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Is it too late to quit? I don't feel fired up anymore.

 **Ice Freak:** Fuck. Even flamebrain is out of flames. Can't we just move the meeting?

 **Lucifer:** We can't due to multiple reasons I can't name atm bc I feel like I just got ran over by a train TT

 **Ice Freak:** kms

 **Lucifer:** fuck this shit

 **Lucifer:** let's first steal some advil from the nurse's office

 **Scary Sword Lady:** sounds like a plan

* * *

 **Lucy Heartfilia's iLacrima**

 **Strawberry Shortcake**

 **6:23 am**

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** alright. Who's dragging who to the meeting?

 **Strawberry Shortcake:** I'll trust you with Natsu. I'll grab Gray.

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** K. Try not to kill him. We still need him to present the budget in our proposal.

* * *

 _ **The day before...**_

 **This PC»Documents »Student Council» In which the coffee dispenser actually gets spiked (Blame Cana)**

It started off as a normal morning. Lucy's alarm rang right at six in the morning and she grudgingly rolled out of bed, awakening her dog, Plue who always somehow snuck on her bed while she was sleeping. Lucy then walked toward her bathroom to do her morning routine which consisted of brushing and flossing her teeth, washing her face, applying makeup and brushing her hair.

Once done, Lucy buttoned up her white dress shirt, tucked it into her navy skirt, and shrugged on her navy blazer. Then she internally cursed their dear principal about his idea for the student council to wear a special uniform (really, she did not understand the meaning behind it since one of its members always strips). Normal student uniforms consisted of a navy blazer or a knit sweater, a white dress shirt, and a navy skirt or dress pants depending on gender. However, for student council students, their blazers had a white outline on the lapels. As well for the females, their skirts had a single white skirt.

To make matters worse, the four of them were forced to wear student council pins. Knowing Erza, she didn't mind the eccentricity of their principal and uniform. However, Natsu hated uniforms and secretly swore to abolish them. He didn't exactly win the battle with their principal and parent council but he managed to get the school some 'uniform-free' days. Gray really had no opinion about the uniforms because he would lose at least one part of his uniform before the day ended.

Lucy tied her red plaid ribbon into a bow on her dress shirt, pulled up her white socks. Finally, she took a look in the mirror to pull her hair into a side braid. Before leaving her apartment, Lucy poured Plue a generous amount of dog food, promising that she will walk him later, grabbed an apple, slipped on her shoes and headed out the door toward Fairy Tail Academy for the early morning meeting.

The morning meeting seemed normal enough as well. Erza, Gray, Natsu and she were finalizing their proposal for the latest event their dear principal came up with and had to present it to the parent council the next morning. All four of them were admittedly half asleep, only being awake out of a fear of a certain red-headed demon (although she was equally as tired) and because of their lord and savior, coffee.

Surprisingly, Erza was the one who preferred to add cream and sugar to her coffee, alluding to her strawberry cake addiction (they always kept one in stock in the student council room). Natsu liked to add a heaping ton of sugar while Gray liked to dump half their milk container into his coffee, claiming that it made it taste like ice cream (Lucy, Erza, and Natsu secretly disagreed after trying). Lucy herself preferred it black but today decided to add cream and sugar like her red-headed friend.

The classes were even normal. During the first period, Lucy and Gray would struggle to stay awake together and attempt to take down notes. They would alternate between kicking each other's chairs and stomping on each other's feet.

"Lucy!"

"Mnhm what?"

"Gray!"

"What?!"

"Shhh..."

During the second period (Advanced Functions), Lucy and Natsu would be more awake compared to the previous period and would work together on class work. "Luce, what is a sin?" "You idiot! It's a sine" Then she would patiently reexplain the previous day's (read: previous year's) lesson to him.

"Oh… I kinda remember it now. Thanks Luce! I owe you one,"

"Can't have the student president fail this class. If only you put in as much energy in this class like you do with eating," Lucy jokingly teased.

"Hey!"

Conveniently, all four of them shared the same lunch so they would all meet up with each other and their group of friends.

"Oi! Don't eat my sandwich flame brain! Get your own!"

"Mnhm, I love strawberry cake,"

"Uh Erza, I don't think its the greatest idea to have strawberry cake for lunch,"

"..."

"Gajeel what you are doing?!"

During the third period (AP English- ENG3UY? More like ENG3 You Die), all four of them would be together doing their normal activities (typically Natsu sleeping, Gray stripping, Erza and Lucy taking down notes). Their AP English teacher would sometimes make them act out the scenes from whatever Shakespearean work they were studying. Today was just happened to be one of those days.

"I am your wife, if you will marry me:

If not, I'll die your maid: to be your fellow

You may deny me, but I'll be your servant,

Whether you will or no." Lucy spoke clearly, slightly blushing and definitely embarrassed to be saying that to her friend. A couple of whistles went around the class. Glares from Erza holding a ruler threateningly quickly silenced them though.

"My mistress, dearest;

And I thus humble ever" Gray replied, cool as ice. Lucy blushed harder (she would not admit this ever but she seriously thought Gray was like a prince charming in that moment).

Her next words from the Shakespearean play roused the sleeping dragon from its sleep. "My husband, then?"

"Luce's getting married?!"

"Ah, hush Natsu"

"Gray what did I say about stripping in school?!"

Their class could only facepalm in response to the four's shenanigans.

Their third period would later end and they would go off their own ways toward their fourth-period class. Finally, the four would all meet after fourth-period at the student council room to finalize plans for their latest event, in today's case, complete their proposal. "Lu-chan! Stay alive Lu-chan!"

Except that didn't happen.

Innocently enough, after the school bell rang in the student council room, all four of them gathered to the coffee table to grab a mug of coffee (they even had their own personalized mugs in the room) and fought for the cream, milk, and sugar. "Hey! Keep your paws off my sugar ice-brain!"

Caffeine and alcohol don't go mix together well.

"Is it just me or does the coffee seem a little lukewarm today? I mean it wasn't like this in the morning," Erza asked, sipping her coffee like a normal person.

"Must be the ancient coffee dispenser. Seriously, who would sell a blue coffee dispenser nowadays?" Lucy shrugged also sipping her coffee like some noble lady.

"That's fair. Is it just me or does the coffee taste better today?" Gray answered, somehow managing to smirk while drinking his coffee.

"That's because your taste buds suck ice-breath!" (Gray once petitioned to have ice coffee instead of hot coffee in the student council room)

It went downhill in the span of mere minutes.

"OI LUCE! PASS ME SOME MORE OF THIS COFFEE" Natsu rampaged, hot sauce bottle in hand.

"EXCUSE ME I AM NOT YOUR MAID" a heeled shoe went flying at him.

"GRAY FULLBUSTER! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DOING WITH MY STRAWBERRY CAKE?!"

"Uh, nothing please don't kill me. Luce! Calm down! A stapler is not a weapon- Hey it's not a gun either!" Gray took cover under the desk. Gray secretly thought to himself that in times like this, desperate times call for desperate measures. Swallowing the last bit of his sanity, he whipped out his iLacrima and called the neighborhood ice cream truck on speed dial.

"Ice-Make's Ice Cream Trucks. What's your emergency" Over his tenure as treasurer, Gray has made enough calls to the company that they recognized his number.

"I need reinforcements. And bring all the snow-cone makers,"

Alas, Gray descended into the madness. After a few more cups of coffee, bickering, and a few broken pens and pencils, the four of them somehow ended up drunkenly singing karaoke on the desks, courtesy of the classroom's smartboard and leftover microphones from another school event.

"We got to work work work this out"

"We'll make things right,"

"The sun will shine if we work work"

* * *

Three floors below student council's shenanigans, a rather short man with white hair sat behind a desktop and a rather large pile of paper. He was struggling with the high school's paperwork and handling complaints from parents.

Why did being the Principal come with all this paperwork? The old man had been fighting with the paperwork for hours now.

Makarov, if you can handle over two thousand brats, you can handle this.

Many would kill to be in his position. They would love to be in charge of his brats that continuously brought home medals, trophies and academic awards. However, what they didn't know was that his brats were quite a handful and caused a lot of trouble for him.

Claims about public indecency, property destruction, the need for excessive force, the list goes on.

The words on his computer and papers were starting swim in his vision for Mavis' sake! Makarov was tempted to break open his safe of good wine in the office. Faintly, he could hear the sounds of salvation.

"We are all in this together,"

"And it shows,"

"When we stand,"

"Hand in hand"

"Make our dreams come true…"

Was this the sound of heaven? Makarov could have sworn heaven did not consist of High School Musical songs. Has his old age finally caught up to him? He must be hallucinating right now. Makarov pinched himself and sighed. "I tried,"

Groaning, Makarov rose from his swivel chair decided to investigate the strange music. If he can recall, only the student council would be in the school at this time. What were his brats up to this time? Supposedly, they have a proposal to complete and present the next morning in front of the parent council.

At the mention of his student council, he teared up. It was like only yesterday when they were all bright-eyed freshmen. The school's bank account remembers them too.

Next thing he knew, they were campaigning against his grandson, Laxus, in the student elections, being a team of incoming juniors against a team of incoming seniors. His brats grew up damned quick. He was equally proud of each and every one of them.

Snapping out of his trip down memory lane, Makarov turned the third-floor corridor and stood outside to what he knew to be the student council room. And he could definitely hear High School Musical blasting. Shouldn't they be stressing about their proposal right now? Maybe for once his brats didn't procrastinate and actually finished it beforehand. But if they were done, they wouldn't be at school.

Makarov said a quick prayer to Mavis and turned the door handle. What he saw that moment took at least 1 year off his life.

His trusted secretary was waving around her katana quite violently while singing.

His expense-causing treasurer was only in his boxers and was swinging around a pole he somehow found. (Poles were then included in the list of banned items at Fairy Tail Academy)

His reliable vice-president was partying on one of the desks, looking nothing like a woman of her upbringing.

And finally, his pyromaniac of a president was quite literally eating and spitting out fire while singing.

As on cue as the song was approaching the final chorus, his student council grouped together and started drunkenly dance the High School Musical choreography.

Were his brats drunk?

Makarov coughed. One by one, the four of them froze up instinctually, turning their heads toward the intruder, looking like deer in the headlights.

"Masterrr pleaseee allow meee to explainnn," Lucy was first to react, stumbling toward the principal.

"Master, I am terribluh sorry for this mess. Please hit me," Erza drunkenly crashing head first toward him.

"Please don't expel us Gramps!" Natsu and Gray cried in unison, sniffling up tears.

"Fairy Tail Academy does not condone inebriation on campus," the four of them sobered up a bit. "However, because you represent Fairy Tail Academy in the public eye, Fairy Tail Academy cannot afford to have this knowledge let out to the general public." Makarov started, being uncharacteristically strict. "I will let this go this time but I expect the best tomorrow," they stiffened. Makarov had a glint in his eye, "Or maybe you four can go do my paperwork for all the trouble you caused. Because I believe all of you have some degree of expertise in this area,"

"Please don't do this to me Gramps!" Natsu's usually tan skin paled.

Ignoring Natsu's complaints and begging, Makarov cracked a smile. "So how exactly did you brats end up like this?" he gestured to the room. The four of them were still stumbling around the room.

"We drank coffee, Master," Erza responded. Makarov then walked toward the coffee table which surprisingly stayed intact and poured himself a cup.

Makarov cringed at the bitter taste. "No wonder you brats are drunk- this is coffee spiked with vodka,"

"Oi! I told you the coffee tasted weird ice freak!" Natsu grinned triumphantly.

"We seriously need to lock this room during school hours," Lucy sighed.

"Note to self: Keep this place away from Cana" Gray muttered. All five of them groaned at the mention of their friend and resident drunk, Cana Alberona.

"She needs to be disciplined for this,"

Makarov sipped some more coffee, content. "By the way, did you brats finish your proposal?"

"FUCK,"

"We must be getting to work Master. I'll take care of these idiots,"

"Gramps, shouldn't you be finishing the damage reports right now?" Natsu innocently asked while dragged by the scruff of his blazer toward his desk.

"I better be going then. Come to my office if you brats need help," Principal Makarov walked out (read: sprinted) with his index finger and thumb pointed up.

"Good luck Master!" all four of them smiled in response with their hands in a similar pose.

Overhead, a familiar children's jingle blared loudly outside the school, summoning children from the streets to buy a cold sweet treat.

"What was that?" Makarov asked already fearing for the worst, paused and checked the school's bank account balance on his iLacrima.

"Oh, absolutely nothing Master," Lucy smiled innocently, waving goodbye to their principal. She kicked Gray in the shins. "Gray!" she hissed.

Principal Makarov then made a mental note to stop his children from marathoning High School Musical and to take his children to karaoke more often (read: doing more PR work for the school). Also, Gray's ice cream addiction had to be curbed. The school's bank account is suffering because of it.

* * *

 **The Story Behind High School Musical**

"Uh, guys why are you in my apartment?"

"We are here for team bonding. We need to work on our teamwork since we recently got elected. And I brought just the right movies," Erza sparkled holding up three movies with a bunch of teenagers jumping in the background.

"Alright, that sounds like a good idea. I'll grab some popcorn. Make your selves comfortable," Lucy turned toward her small kitchenette.

"Happy! Don't touch my fish!"

Natsu then entered with her panties on his head. "I didn't know you thought that about me Luce"

"STOP LOOKING THROUGH MY THINGS!"

"LUCY-KICK!"

* * *

 **And that's a wrap** , **folks! Special thanks to those who read, favorited, and followed this story!**

 **FlameDragonHime: Thank you! I appreciate it. To be honest, I feel this story is turning more and more crack-ish by the chapter. But then again, it is Team Natsu *shrugs**

 **In terms of timeline, I guess this chapter happens before "A Peek into the Life" because Lucy wishes the coffee was spiked in that chapter. Also, thanks for bearing with my cringe writing and dialogue AND OOCness. Reviews and constructive criticism would be much appreciated (I realized I confused 'peak' with 'peek'- I'm so embarrassed about that). Kudos to you if you figured out the Shakespeare play I got the lines from 3**

 **Ja-ne!**

 **Sunachii**


	3. File 3: Welcome to Fairy Tail Academy

_"Who in the world am I?"_

 _"Ah, that's a great puzzle,"_

 _-Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

 **Excerpt from Fairy Tail Daily- "Q &A with Student Co."**

 **Interviewed by Levy McGarden**

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** Tell me again why we are getting interviewed. I just don't see the point in doing this.

 _ **Now, now Lu-chan. People are interested in what the esteemed student council has to say. This is a question from some of our curious readers: What was your**_ _ **favorite memory from your freshman year?**_

 **Gray Fullbuster:** Definitely not meeting this pinkie here. I would have to say my favorite memory has to be joining the snowboard and ski club. I had a great time snowboarding and skiing back in freshman year.

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Who are you calling pinkie, ice freak? It would have been a real blessing to not met this idiot here.

 **Erza Scarlet:** Please ignore these two. I would have to say our favorite memory from freshman year would have to be the time Mr. Clive assigned the four of us a group project in his class. If not for that project, we would of have not the good friends we are today.

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** Right. The project. That was a disaster. I did not know what Gildarts was thinking back then.

 _ **I guess we did not know what Gildarts was thinking back then. Speaking of freshman year, do you guys have any advice for the new incoming students to our school?**_

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Be yourself. Here at Fairy Tail Academy, we are all nakama. Though we may not be able to share our feelings of happiness and sadness entirely, we do share them to some extent. That's what happens in this school. One person's happiness becomes everyone's happiness. One person's anger becomes everyone's anger. And one person's tears become everyone's tears. Everyone here cares about each other. Wherever you go, hold your head high because you are a proud and beloved member of this family.

 **Gray Fullbuster:** Nicely put flame brain.

 **Lucy Heartfilia:** Isn't that's literally what Master Makarov always says at the end of his beginning of the school year speech?

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** Uh.

 **Gray Fullbuster:** Busted. I take that back about what I just said about you just now.

 **Natsu Dragoneel:** You wanna fight droopy-eyes?

* * *

 **This PC »Documents »Student Council » Welcome to Fairy Tail Academy**

Kansuke Hoshino's adventure started on his first day of school at Fairy Tail Academy. He is a freshman transfer from Blue Pegasus High School, and he's heard many questionable rumors about this prestigious school, especially concerning its esteemed student council.

He nervously pushes open the intimidating large doors of the school and is greeted by a vaguely familiar long white-haired beauty who offers to help him find his way to the school office. She introduces herself as Mirajane Strauss ("Feel free to call me Mira"), a senior student at this school.

Mira says she has two siblings who are both juniors at this school, is apart of the Fairy Tail Daily as a columnist, and she is the captain of the Track and Field team ("You look like an athlete. Why don't you try out for the Track and Field team later in the spring?"). She looked at him expectantly and he could not find a reason to reject her kind offer.

As she leads him to the school office, he finds out why she looks so familiar. Mira mentions that she sometimes does PR work for the school and is a part-time model.

Kansuke asks her about the student council and she brightens up considerably. Although Mira is closed-lipped about answering questions about the rumors, she says that if he has any problem, he can email the student council.

"They are one of the best student councils in this school's history! Natsu has the passion and enthusiasm to reach out and Gray does amazingly well in stressful situations. Erza keeps those two in line and ensures discipline, meanwhile, you can count on Lucy to get the job finished. If you encounter any issues in this school, feel free to email them or come up to them during school, I'm sure they would love to help you out," Mira sparkles.

(And Natsu, Gray, Lucy, and Erza wonder why they receive so many emails requesting their advice in their email inbox.)

Mira drops him off in front of the school office and waves goodbye to him, strangely with her index finger and thumb pointed up. Kansuke later learns this is a Fairy Tail Academy tradition. ("Before I forget, welcome to Fairy Tail Academy! If you need anything, feel free to come up to me during school!")

Kansuke is left alone in front of the office doors and he cautiously enters through the doors.

"Hi. I'm Kansuke Hoshino, the new transfer student in freshman year," Kansuke says to the secretary, twiddling his fingers nervously.

"Oh, you must be the transfer from Blue Pegasus High School," the secretary looks up and hands him his schedule. "Master Makarov is waiting for you in his office. Please knock on his door to the right,"

A gorgeous (again somewhat familiar) redhead female entered the office carrying what seems to be a massive horn over her shoulder and places it in the office. She notices Kansuke staring at her and explains the horn.

"The school I was visiting offered this to me as a gift," the redhead said. Kansuke then notices a katana hanging by her side and gulps.

Before leaving the office, she says "Welcome to Fairy Tail Academy," and heads out, presumably to class.

Surprisingly, his talk with the principal is not as awkward as he thought. Principal Makarov, despite his small stature, carries himself with good grace and humor. Principal Makarov covers the rules of Fairy Tail Academy and the expectations of a student in his welcome speech. To his shock, the prestigious school gives quite a lot of freedoms to its students.

("Whatever you do, please do not bring a pole to school. It will be immediately confiscated." Kansuke decides not to ask about the story behind that rule.)

Finally, Principal Makarov concludes his speech with a message about inclusivity and trying.

"In your time as a student here, I want you to try. Try your best in your academic pursuits. Try out for different clubs, councils, and team. Take the initiative and try and put your best foot forward. Whatever you do, do it with pride and passion because you are a Fairy Tail student."

Principal Makarov ("A lot of the students here call me Master for reasons I do not know. Principal or master, either or, both work") then leads him out the office and wishes him luck in his school.

"Unfortunately, I have a few appointments coming up soon so I voluntold one of our students to guide you around and answer your questions,"

Kansuke sincerely hopes it is not the terrifying redhead he encountered earlier.

Then he sees her, his angel. A gorgeous blonde girl comes bounding up toward the two of them. "I'll take it from here Master," she says respectfully.

"Ah Lucy, it's good that you are doing well today. You know I don't mind you calling me Gramps," he says and suddenly jumps up to hug her. His angel pats Principal Makarov's back and sets him down.

"If you need anything, just find me in my office!" he says heading back through the office doors.

Now it was just the two of them. She introduces herself as Lucy Heartfilia and he immediately recognizes her name, though he is not sure where he has heard it from.

"Hi! Welcome to Fairy Tail Academy. I'm Lucy Heartfilia, it's nice to meet you. I'm a junior at this school" she says smiling brightly. "Natsu was supposed to show you around and answer your questions but he is buried under work at the moment so I will be the one showing you around today,"

"I'm Kansuke Hoshino, a freshman transfer student. Please take care of me," Kansuke bows formally.

"Ah, no need for formalities here. Don't worry about it. Anyways, what brought you here?" Lucy embarrassedly waved her arms.

In his short time with her, he learns that Lucy is a good listener and gives great input and advice. She then asks about Hibiki Lates, Ren Akatsuki, Eve Tearm, and Ichiya Vandalay Kotobuki. Apparently, she is friends with them, despite going to different schools. To be honest, he already finds Fairy Tail Academy being a lot more normal compared to his previous school. At least Fairy Tail Academy didn't have its own perfume line.

They are doing well he says. As usual, they all bury their work on poor Hibiki. (At Blue Pegasus High School, a group of four sneezed at the same time.)

Lucy then shows him the way to his classes. ("Oh, you got Gildarts for your first period? He's a great teacher and I guarantee you'll have a ton of fun in that class," she smiles fondly, a bit lost in thought.)

"Fairy Tail Academy has three floors. The first floor has the music, Phys. ed., and the humanities classes as well as the gym, library, cafeteria, guidance, and the school office. The second floor is science, visual arts, and English. The third floor has the math and modern languages classes. Your club room varies based on the club you join but if you know the pattern, you can generally find your way around here," Lucy explains patiently. Kansuke nods along.

She leads him around the corridor and stops in front of the stairs. "There are stairs on every floor on the building and you'll be able to find them at the corners of the school as well as one in the main foyer. We also have elevators for students who use wheelchairs and crutches,"

As they walk up the stairs, a few students pass by and greet Lucy."Hey Vice-Prez!"

"Hi guys!" she waves back, smiling.

Kansuke then realizes that the friendly gorgeous blonde beside him was the fabled vice-president of the student council. There were quite a lot of scary and outrageous rumors surrounding the vice-president of this school such as being the one who quite literally ruled the track and field as well as being a well-known player in the volleyball circuit in her younger years. It was said that under her rule, the Magnolia festival was built in a day. Too bad that he can't remember her nickname. And it's on the tip of his tongue too.

"You are the vice-president?" Kansuke was in shock. Lucy seemed too friendly and bubbly to have a reputation like that. He could never imagine the blonde beside him bossing other people around.

"Oh, did I not mention it earlier? Whoops," she smiled sheepishly, rubbing her head. "I know I don't exactly look like the job but I am the vice-president. I hope I'm doing a good job so far,"

Kansuke sweatdropped at her easygoing behavior as they continued down the hall.

A pink-headed male started running toward them in the hallway, with posters in one hand and hot sauce in another and being followed by a blue cat?

"Hiya Luce! Erza was terrorizing me earlier to get these posters done," he whined, crashing into her arms. Then he childishly peeked at Kansuke over Lucy's shoulder, "Is this the new transfer student?"

"Yeah. Kansuke, meet Natsu Dragoneel, the student council president. Also known as the one who was supposed to show you around," Natsu let go of Lucy and grinned in greeting at him.

So, this is the infamous Salamander. Infamous on the streets for his fighting prowess as well as being one of the hottest power forwards in the basketball circuit. Not to mention his involvement in the soccer team. Outside the court and fields, Salamander is known to speak at conferences with a burning passion and fiery attitude. To top it all off, he is the leader of the rumored insane student council.

"And this is Happy, Natsu's cat but he is not supposed to be here at the moment," Lucy says, mock-glaring at him, picking up and petting the blue cat, getting "ayes!" from it. Kansuke was half frozen in fear of the student and half staring at Lucy who looked to be currently occupied with Happy for help.

"Hey, welcome to Fairy Tail man." ("Natsu! What was that greeting?" Lucy hissed at him. "He was looking at you funny, Luce,")

"Hi! I'm Kansuke Hoshino. Please take care of me," Kansuke unfreezes and bows deeply, out of fear for the Salamander. Natsu smiles back.

"Would you like to be the first one to try the Fairy Tail special sauce? I finally got this product approved by the parent council and the board!" Natsu suddenly offered, showing off his slightly fanged canines. Kansuke thought it was harmless enough so he took a sample spoon.

("Natsu! Are you trying to kill our new transfer student? That sauce is borderline safe to eat!")

At first, it tasted pretty good with a nice smoky flavor, but suddenly he felt an overwhelming fire spread across his tongue.

"It feels like a fire dragon suddenly decided to spray fire in my mouth," Kansuke gagged, desperately wishing for some cold water.

"That was exactly what I was going for!" Natsu grinned triumphantly.

"Alright Natsu, you should be heading back to class now. I gotta find Gray. See you in English!" Lucy then dragged Kansuke off toward the second floor. Salamander's fire is true to his name. His hot sauce is not considered normal. And what was up with his blue cat? Aren't cats are not supposed to be blue? This school was not normal.

"Uhh… Why do I have to meet this Gray fellow?" Kansuke questioned, mouth burning. "Shouldn't I be going to the nurse's office? I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy from the hot sauce,"

"Nah, Gray would be able to help you. And we happened to be just outside his class. Wait out here for a sec," Lucy said before knocking on the door and asking for Gray.

"Hey, Lucy, what's up?" Gray appeared with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He shot her a grin.

"Hey, Gray. Mind doing me a favor? The new transfer student just had some of Natsu's special sauce and you get the idea…" Lucy said, smiling sheepishly back.

"That hothead. Why didn't you say that earlier? Here." Gray magically whipped out a packaged ice cream bar, handing it to Kansuke. His dark eyes scanned him, darkening as he inspected the new student before him. He must have found something that he liked because he then shot him a grin. "Hi, I'm Gray Fullbuster and I'm a junior like Lucy. Sorry that you had to deal with that idiot earlier,"

"He's also the treasurer of the student council," Kansuke choked. So, this Gray fellow was Ice-Make Gray. Apparently, he pulls the strings behind any business operation in Magnolia and is he was feared among the business circles of Magnolia, being able to get any business deal into his favor. Kansuke gets that Gray is cool as ice but what was up with that ice cream bar?

"Hi, I am Kansuke Hoshino, please take care of me," Kansuke bowed politely.

"Likewise. Look forward to seeing you around. And also welcome to Fairy Tail Academy," Gray replied. Then he turned to Lucy, "Luce, Erza is going to kill me if she finds out I miss more class so I gotta head back inside. See you later!" Gray waved with his index finger and thumb pointed up. Lucy followed suit with a wave of her own.

"See you later!"

Once they were out of the way of the class, they were making casual conversation about the school.

"What is with that hand gesture?"

Lucy paused and turned to face him. "It's tradition at this school. Laxus, a senior and grandson of Gramps used to come here a lot as a child and he came up with this hand signal. It means even if I can't see where you are, I'm always looking at you,"

"That is sweet,"

"Yeah, when he was younger, he couldn't participate on the school float for the Magnolia Festival so he came up with this hand gesture. You'll see Laxus around the school sometime," Kansuke nodded in understanding. The pair fell silent.

"By the way, did you see that scary red-head coming out of the office earlier?" Kansuke questioned.

"Oh, that's Erza Scarlet, she's one of my close friends and she is also the secretary of the student council. She seems scary at first but she is pretty misunderstood. Erza is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet," Lucy smiled at the mention of her friend.

That scary redhead from earlier was Titania?! Titania, the queen of the fairies? Delinquents tremble at her name. Even street mobs and mafia bosses bow before her. Kansuke sweat dropped nervously, thinking about the katana he thought he saw earlier at the redhead's side. Was anybody from student council sane? Of course not including his angel Lucy.

Kansuke was then shaken from his thoughts with the sound of a cracking whip. He blinked slowly at the scene happening in front of him.

Lucy dignifiedly towered over the three cowering delinquents in front of her, whip in hand. Lucy's nickname suddenly strikes him- she's Empress Lucy.

Kansuke took a second thought and shook his head sadly. She wasn't so sane after all.

* * *

 **EXTRA**

 **Email Inbox of Fairy Tail Academy Student Council**

* * *

 **To:** "The Sparkly Playboys" Blue Pegasus High Student Council

 **From:** Fairy Tail Academy Student Council

 **Subject:** Transfer Student

Hey! Just wanted to let you guys know that your previous student, Kansuke Hoshino, safely arrived at Fairy Tail Academy and Lucy showed him around. After the orientation and school, he seems to be fine, minus being Natsu's latest new test subject to his newest hot sauce. Rest assured, we fed him some ice cream. See you guys soon at the conference!

Much love,

FT Student Co. (signed Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza)

* * *

 **To:** Fairy Tail Academy Student Council

 **From:** "The Sparkly Playboys" Blue Pegasus High Student Council

 **Subject:** RE: Transfer Student

Thanks for letting us know! Ren's been asking to go out for some bowling for some time now, would you like to join us? Blue Pegasus vs. Fairy Tail. Also, we also look forward to seeing you guys at the conference! (hopefully, nothing will be set on fire this time)

Sincerely,

BP Student Council (signed Ichiya, Hibiki, Ren, and Eve)

* * *

 **To:** "The Sparkly Playboys" Blue Pegasus High School Student Council

 **From:** Fairy Tail Academy Student Council

 **Subject:** RE:RE: Transfer Student

Challenge accepted. It's on. Tomorrow at 7 at the usual spot?

Much love,

FT Student Co. (signed Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza)

* * *

 **That's a wrap! To be honest, this one-shot series is a bit of a word-vomit with some proofreading. Thanks for reading, following, and favoriting!**

 **FlameDragonHime: Very true. I'm surprised poor Master Makarov hasn't lost all his hair yet with all he has to deal with on a daily basis. Thank you for reviewing my little word-vomit series.**

 **In terms of pairings, I have no idea where this is heading because this is more of a friendship/ humor thing with some crack elements. See you next chapter! Ja ne!**

 **Sunachii**


End file.
